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One of the most difficult decisions we ever make as pastors is when we are deciding if we are to stay or move on to a new church. I have been through this process a few times and learned some lessons along the way. Discerning God’s leading in this matter is not easy. There are issues of pride, ambition, self-confidence, money, success, gifting, kingdom impact, platform, family needs that can all play into it. And that is just the beginning. Trust me I have felt all of those in the various decisions that I have made when it comes to accepting a call somewhere or turning down a call or invitation to candidate somewhere. I know in different tribes the question of pastors changing churches is handled differently so let me share a little with you how the tribe I come from handles it. I have pastored in Baptist churches that are self-governing so they all go through their own process of calling a new pastor. The typical process is that a church posts an opening; receives resumes from potential candidates; and following interviews selects an applicant to candidate and then the congregation votes on whether or not to extend a call to this candidate. It is generally frowned upon in our tribe to approach a pastor about an opening who is already serving in a church. It can happen but it is rare. So whether you are in a denomination that assigns you to a church or in a tribe more like mine what are the reasons you should stay or stick it out in your current congregation (If you have that option)?
1. Pastoral longevity generally produces healthier churches. There is a direct correlation between established trust and the length of time a pastor has effectively shepherded a church. Sure the honeymoon phase is great because everyone is so excited to have you there and no one says anything negative yet but that isn’t trust. Trust is established by going through challenges together. Showing up faithfully week in and week out. Trust allows you to truly speak into the lives of those you are discipling. Churches with high levels of trust are healthier churches.
2. Stability is good for your family – I became convinced of this after a very difficult move we made as a family. The move was made for a variety of reasons but it took a heavy toll on our family. It was a root of bitterness for two of my children as well as a source of conflict in our marriage for a couple of years. Thankfully we were able to work through it and are now in a better place as a family. One of your roles as the spiritual leader in your family is to create a stable environment where your family can flourish and if you are uprooting your children every 2-3 years this is quite difficult. I have often pondered if the constant movement of pastors from church to church is one of the reasons why so many pastors’ kids have abandoned the faith.
3. Knowing your community opens doors for the Gospel – The longer you stay established in a community and build up a good reputation the more opportunities you will have to share the Gospel. Most people today want genuine relationships and community with you before giving you any opportunity to share about Jesus with them. It just takes time to get established in a community or neighborhood. If you have been welcomed into a community and have relationships that foster spiritual conversations why would you leave that behind? That is not easy to find.
4. Genuine friendships take time to form – I believe pastors can and should have friends in the local congregation. Friendship is one of those gifts from God that helps us grow in our faith. Real friends are those we allow to know the real us and they accept us even though we have our flaws. Pastors who never have people they can be real with, never experience genuine friendship, and miss out on one of God’s best gifts for us. For more thoughts on developing friendships in your congregation as a pastor you can read this article. But for this post what I want to remind you of is that it takes time to experience real friendship and real friendship is a gift from God.
5. Others are telling you to stay – One of the lessons I have learned along the way is how much I need a community to help me discern God’s leading. My personal ambition and pride gets in the way far to easily and I need others who know me and care about me and family to help me discern. I would encourage you to find those people in your life. I would hope that you have Elders in your church who can be that for you. If not the Elders you serve with at least some respected leaders in your tribe whom you know. Be honest about the reasons you are sensing a need to move on. The good the bad and the ugly. If you don’t have people like this you can trust then dig in an develop those friendships so that you will have them. We all need those people.
6. God brought you there for a reason – Have you discovered why God brought you to your current church? What is it about your unique gifting that led God to place you where you are? If you cannot clearly answer those questions then I would strongly encourage you to lean into that because I think there is more for you to do where you are. Get some outside counsel and assessment. God doesn’t make mistakes in the calling, you are there for a reason.
7. Financial Stability – Let's just be honest about this. Most of the time the longer we stay in a church the better our financial situation is going to be. Especially for those who are supported full-time by the church. If the church has been providing cost of living increases or maybe some raises along the way chances are that you may go backward financially if you make a change. Also if you are a homeowner the longer you can pay down that mortgage and build equity that is to your advantage as well. Moving can be an expensive venture.
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