In a previous article titled “ Six lies we tell ourselves as pastors (sometimes) ” I wrote that one of the lies we tell ourselves is that "I am not good enough. Why is that? Where does this come from? What contributes to it? This article attempts to identify the 5 major roots of pastoral inadequacy and how to help you grow beyond them. 1. Unrealistic Expectations: Setting extremely high standards in preaching, counseling, and community involvement can lead to feelings of inadequacy when those expectations aren't met. I am not trying to advocate for having low expectations but we do need to be realistic when it comes to our expectations for ourselves. For most of us, we are the only pastor in the church and we have to be reasonably good at a wide variety of tasks. However, we are not going to be great at everything. No one person is gifted in everything. So get some good honest feedback on what you are and what you are not doing well. You may be surprised at the feedback you get. Lean into your strengths and do what you can to get help in your weaknesses. If you are able to hire staff to support you in your weaknesses then great. Or maybe there are some key volunteers that can pick up the slack. However you address it, the first step is to give yourself permission to not be the best at everything. That is just not realistic. 2. Spiritual Warfare: The enemy’s whispers of failure and doubt can deeply affect pastors, making them question their calling and abilities. For some of us, we would probably argue that this should be the first one on the list. We know there is an enemy at work against the Kingdom of God and as we lead outposts of God’s Kingdom it just makes sense that the enemy is going to seek to discourage and tear us down. We need to do the same thing that we would counsel others to do in these moments. Return to the truth of God’s Word and allow it to replace the lies of the enemy we are believing. Remember God’s calling and gifting. Remember the fruit he produces in and through your ministry. Focus on what God is doing in your midst. 3. Isolation: Feeling isolated without a close support network or the pressure to maintain a perfect image can lead to self-doubt. This one is so real it is almost painful. According to Lifeway Research approximately 68% of pastors are either frequently or sometimes lonely. The social isolation that can come with leadership, especially leadership in the local Church, can majorly contribute to feelings of inadequacy. It also means fewer people are speaking encouragement and truth into our lives. God uses friendships and mentors to keep pouring his truth and grace into us. When we lack that input, we are even more susceptible. Try getting involved with your local ministerial association. If you are part of a conference or network of churches, reach out and try to connect with like-minded pastors. Chances are they are struggling too. You may have to take a risk in this, but the reward will be worth it. 4. Criticism and Opposition: Constant criticism or opposition from within the congregation or external sources can wear down a pastor’s confidence. From early childhood, we learn how to see ourselves through the comments and feedback that we receive from other individuals. If others are telling us we are smart we will develop an identity of being a good student. The same is true if we are raised in a constantly negative environment. If we hear that we are not good enough all the time we will begin to believe it. As adults, we are not immune to the way this works. When we are working in negative and critical environments it is extremely difficult to maintain a positive outlook towards ourselves as well as our performance. We are not saying there is no place for constructive criticism. There absolutely is. But criticism that focuses on who we are as people, our core identity rather than our job performance just tears us down and helps no one. I had a friend who pastored in the same community as I did on the outer coast of Washington State. We were talking about the negative comments we receive at times and he said that he had a church member who told him that she didn’t like the sound of his voice. Now I am not sure how someone is supposed to improve upon the sound of their voice. This kind of criticism is just intended to cause hurt and is not helpful. Work on filtering out the negativity. Invite your board or secretary to filter the emails, letters, or comments you are receiving and only pass on what is helpful. Find a way to limit the access that the negative people will have to your heart and soul. Establish boundaries to protect yourself. For example, a good boundary I was taught is to not receive anonymous criticism. If a church member doesn’t care enough about you to let them know who it is coming from then it isn’t going to be worth your time to read it or consider it. 5. Emotional and Mental Health Challenges: Dealing with stress, anxiety, or depression can affect a pastor's sense of self-worth, exacerbating feelings of inadequacy. I know that there are varying opinions as to the validity of emotional health and mental health challenges. I am of the opinion that sin has affected our bodies in such a way that our brain chemistry is affected as well. If we pay attention to our physical health and take medications and treatments for physical ailments it should be no different for emotional or mental health issues. The Fuller Institute of Church Growth conducted a survey in 1991 with follow-ups in 2005 and 2006 which found that 70%of pastors have lower self esteem now than they had prior to entering the ministry. That statistic is very alarming. If you are not talking with someone, in addition to your spouse, about the state of your emotional or mental health then you should be. The stakes are too high. Not saying that all of us need professional counseling, although I believe anyone can benefit from the skill set of a counselor. I am simply saying you need to pay attention to your emotional and mental health. Be honest with yourself. Ask your spouse or children what they are seeing. Invite trusted friends into your inner spaces.

1. I am not good enough This lie comes in a variety of shapes and sizes. I am not gifted enough. I am not skilled enough. I am not holy enough. You get the idea. This lie of self-doubt is particularly a favorite of our enemy who is the father of lies (John 8:44). The truth is that none of us are good enough or any of those ‘enoughs’ on our own. But we are not on our own. We have the Spirit of God who has gifted us and chooses and delights to use us to build up the Kingdom of God. Paul declared that it is in our weakness that God’s strength is seen (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). So if Paul is correct we need not be concerned with our weaknesses. Remember that God knows your weaknesses and he knew it before he ever called you into ministry. Success in pastoral ministry is not about whether or not you are good enough but it is all about being faithful to the call from the only one who is good enough. 2. The growth of my church depends on me. There are so many issues in this lie it is hard to know where to start. First of all, it is not your church. The church is the bride of Christ. He purchased her with his own blood and has prepared the wedding feast for his bride when he returns for her. The church belongs to the Lord Jesus Christ. Second, Jesus is the one who declared that he will build His church (Matthew 16:18). Yes, he delights to use us and to work through us but that reality extends beyond that of pastors. I have known many good dedicated and gifted pastors who have churches that are not growing. It takes more than the pastor to grow a church. How is the music? Are the people friendly? Is anyone inviting nonbelievers? As much as church growth depends on us as God’s people it depends on everyone in the congregation. Are there things you might be doing as a pastor to discourage growth, sure. Ask some hard questions and make some changes based on what you learn. But is it all on your shoulders? No! 3. If I were more like then I would be more successful. The comparison game is a dangerous game. It leads us to a false sense of self every single time. Either we think we don’t measure up or we think we are somehow better than the other pastor down the road. It is all a matter of perspective. People will show up at your church and tell you how much better you are than so and so across town. Other people in your church will complain and tell you that you should be more like this other pastor in the next town over where their friend goes to church. Listen, you are you. Can you learn from others? Sure. Do you know a pastor who is doing a great job? Invite them out to lunch and pick their brain. But don’t try to be them. Learn from them but be yourself. Another great way to avoid falling into the comparison game is to be friends with the other pastors in your community. As you get to know each other you will discover that you all have pretty similar fears and concerns about your churches and your families. Everyone is trying to do their best and nobody wins when we fall into the comparison game. 4. My congregation just doesn’t get it. I am thinking about when we are casting vision and seeking to build a particular culture within our church. Now this can be a bit tricky. Will there be some people who just don’t get it? Meaning they don’t agree with your vision or they don’t want the culture you are seeking to build. If you are pastoring an established church then yes there probably will be some like that. But that is generally the minority. The majority of your congregation wants to get on board with your vision. They are there, or are still there, because they like you. As the primary communicator in your church it is up to you to communicate the vision and help them to understand what you are seeking to build in the church. If you are frustrated try communicating it differently. Get one on one with people. Explain the vision. Help them to get it. So yes some may never get it and may end up leaving. But most want to and it is your job to communicate it which means if they still aren’t getting it then the problem is likely not with them. 5. If I just preach the Bible my church will grow. I remember hearing this one from a good friend years ago. This one is prolific in the halls of conservative evangelical seminaries. Now don’t get me wrong there is no replacement for solid biblical preaching in the local church. It is foundational to what the church is about. How are we to be the people of Jesus if we do not know His Word? But the reality is that many other factors come into play when we are talking about church growth. Depending on where you are at there are likely several good Bible preaching churches within a short drive of the people who choose to come to your church. So with so many good Bible preaching options why do people pick your church versus a different one? If there was a one size fits all answer to that question I would sell a lot more books! So preach the word but do the other work as well. Care for the sheep. Invite the community. Build a good culture. Create engaging worship environments. Care for the children. So many aspects to building a good healthy church. 6. I can’t trust others to do their job. Pastors are notorious micromanagers. This is especially challenging when you are pastoring a smaller church and there is no one else on staff. Although I have heard paid church staff members complain about being micro-managed as well. This lie often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you have a bent towards not trusting others to get the job done and you micro-manage or take over the task for them, the next time they will put even less effort into getting it done because they are assuming that no matter how hard they work you will just step in and take it over. So eventually you cannot trust anyone, not because they are untrustworthy but because you as the leader have trained them not to put in the effort and that you will just bail them out and then get mad at them later. Try trusting others to get the job done and then actually let them do the job and see how their confidence soars. And guess what? Your productivity will soar too because you no longer have to do their jobs for them.

On a recent trip to Sacramento, I encountered an unusually helpful shuttle bus driver. I had dropped off my rental car and boarded the shuttle bus from the rental car center to get to the terminal. I have gone through this process numerous times in a variety of airports and you get used to the same old drill. A driver that is not particularly passionate about their job and only helpful if they absolutely have to be. So to me, this driver stood out as I observed him performing his duties. At first, the level of information and helpfulness seemed unnecessary and almost annoying. But then I realized there were a few lessons I could take away from this driver.  1) There are no small tasks, only small attitudes – I have never met anyone who has ever set their goal in life to be a rental car shuttle bus driver. I would imagine this is why so many of the individuals in positions such as these often perform the job without much attention to detail or helpfulness to their passengers. This driver did not allow the seemingly smallness of this job to negatively affect his attitude or job performance. 2) There is no such thing as overcommunication. – This was the first thing that threw me off about this driver. As we approached the terminal he told his passengers step by step what they were going to need to do in order to navigate the airport. My initial reaction was that it was a little unnecessary for surely people would be able to navigate the airport without his instructions. But then it occurred to me that there was probably someone on the bus who benefited from the additional directions and instructions. What might seem like overcommunication to one person is quite possibly exactly what another individual needs. 3) Serve first, and ask permission later. – It is rather common for passengers to load their own luggage in these shuttle buses. Most drivers will help with the occasional elderly passenger or help when the bus is getting a bit crowded and space for bags is getting hard to find. Rarely do you find a driver who jumps at the opportunity to help someone load or unload his or her bags. Especially those who are physically capable of handling their own bags. Just because not everyone doesn’t need you to serve them doesn’t mean it is noticed or appreciated. Sure you might annoy someone by being overly helpful but would you rather apologize for being too helpful or for ignoring a need or opportunity to serve? 4) Everyone you serve deserves your best. – This driver was part of my day for about 15 minutes. Each round trip probably took him close to 30 minutes with loading and unloading. This means he could do about 16 round trips in an 8 hour shift. He had no idea who was and who wasn’t on his bus each of those shifts. Did they deserve his best that day. Whether or not his passengers or customers received his best had absolutely nothing to do with their attitude or what they did or did not deserve. To serve and give your best has everything to do with your own character and commitments. 5) You will never fully know the impact of your actions – I would imagine if I were to encounter this shuttle bus driver and tell him that he inspired me to write this article, he would be quite shocked. Why? Because he wasn’t looking to inspire someone on his shift. He was just taking care of his passengers and doing his job well. Little did he know that there would be a leadership article written about his performance. In this same way you as a pastor will never fully appreciate the impact of your actions, words, and ministry.

Previously I dropped an article titled 7 reasons you should stay at your church. You can read that article here . One fear that I had in putting that article out there was that those who needed to leave a church would feel that I was being critical of them. So let me clarify, while I think there are strong reasons to stay at your church long-term I am not saying that you should never move to a different church. After all, those who know me know that I have done that a couple of times, and sometimes it is just necessary. Like I said in the other article, there are many emotions involved in the decision process but at the end of the day there are some important reasons that factor into the decision. So here are my 7 reasons you should leave your church. 1. The church is toxic – Unfortunately there are just some churches that have such unhealthy patterns of behavior and ways that they treat one another that the best word for it is toxic. Maybe you knew it going in or maybe you discovered it over time but now you are in it and you are not sure if you will survive. Some churches have allowed unhealthy lay leaders to run things and the problems run so deep that you cannot change them no matter how hard you try. If you can stick it out then fine, but I have seen too many good pastors leave the ministry because of toxic churches. It might just be time to go. 2. Your family is struggling – Is your family flourishing? Is your spouse finding joy in where you are at? Do your children have friends? If they are in school is a good fit? Does your family enjoy going to church? These are all important questions for us to ask. They aren’t the only questions but they are part of the matrix of making a decision of whether to stay or to go. If you find yourself in a situation where your spouse or children refuse to be a part of the church because of hurts or issues within the body you need to take that seriously. Or maybe there are ways your family is withdrawing from the community or school and a change is needed for their good. Important considerations. 3. Wrong community fit – Years ago I was interviewing for a lead pastor position in the Bay Area. At the time I was serving as an Associate Pastor in a very small and remote community in Eastern Oregon. At the end of the day the church decided to go with a different candidate because they felt that I would not connect well in a large city context. Honestly, at the time I felt offended at the suggestion that I could not do ministry in a larger city. But now looking at the trajectory of my life and ministry I can see God’s hand in it. Whether it is regional differences, cultural differences, or urban/rural, there are issues here we need to pay attention to. Based on your experiences you will experience a better community fit in some places compared to others. 4. Personal health issues – Is your spiritual, emotional, and psychological health struggling? Do you need to step away from ministry, even if just for a season, to get healthy again? Are there issues in your own formation or relationships that are negatively affecting you? Pastoring is demanding in many different ways and it has a way of exposing spiritual, emotional, and psychological issues in our lives. It is important to take care of yourself. You cannot effectively minister when you are totally emotionally and spiritually depleted. 5. Others are telling you to go – I shared the same point on my reasons to stay; the counsel of others. Hopefully, we all have trusted people in our lives that can help us discern these difficult decisions. So as you wrestle with the reasons you are considering leaving get input from others. What do they see and hear? Invite them into the process. 6. Lack of Vision – Do you have a sense as to why God has you where you are at? Maybe you did when you accepted the call to the church but now you aren’t so sure. Maybe you have led faithfully for a couple of decades and you now realize someone else needs to bring a fresh vision to the church. Vision is essential to leadership and if you don’t know where you are going as a church it is impossible to take the church anywhere. 7. Financial Strain – Finances are a reality for everyone and as a leader and provider for your family you do need to make sure that they are provided for. This doesn’t mean you are not trusting in God for his provision but that you are taking seriously God’s command to provide for his family. For some people, this means that you become co-vocational to make ends meet but the reality is that not every church is ok with that. Quite frankly some churches believe that their pastor and his family can live on next to nothing while expecting full-time work.

One of the most difficult decisions we ever make as pastors is when we are deciding if we are to stay or move on to a new church. I have been through this process a few times and learned some lessons along the way. Discerning God’s leading in this matter is not easy. There are issues of pride, ambition, self-confidence, money, success, gifting, kingdom impact, platform, family needs that can all play into it. And that is just the beginning. Trust me I have felt all of those in the various decisions that I have made when it comes to accepting a call somewhere or turning down a call or invitation to candidate somewhere. I know in different tribes the question of pastors changing churches is handled differently so let me share a little with you how the tribe I come from handles it. I have pastored in Baptist churches that are self-governing so they all go through their own process of calling a new pastor. The typical process is that a church posts an opening; receives resumes from potential candidates; and following interviews selects an applicant to candidate and then the congregation votes on whether or not to extend a call to this candidate. It is generally frowned upon in our tribe to approach a pastor about an opening who is already serving in a church. It can happen but it is rare. So whether you are in a denomination that assigns you to a church or in a tribe more like mine what are the reasons you should stay or stick it out in your current congregation (If you have that option)? 1. Pastoral longevity generally produces healthier churches. There is a direct correlation between established trust and the length of time a pastor has effectively shepherded a church. Sure the honeymoon phase is great because everyone is so excited to have you there and no one says anything negative yet but that isn’t trust. Trust is established by going through challenges together. Showing up faithfully week in and week out. Trust allows you to truly speak into the lives of those you are discipling. Churches with high levels of trust are healthier churches. 2. Stability is good for your family – I became convinced of this after a very difficult move we made as a family. The move was made for a variety of reasons but it took a heavy toll on our family. It was a root of bitterness for two of my children as well as a source of conflict in our marriage for a couple of years. Thankfully we were able to work through it and are now in a better place as a family. One of your roles as the spiritual leader in your family is to create a stable environment where your family can flourish and if you are uprooting your children every 2-3 years this is quite difficult. I have often pondered if the constant movement of pastors from church to church is one of the reasons why so many pastors’ kids have abandoned the faith. 3. Knowing your community opens doors for the Gospel – The longer you stay established in a community and build up a good reputation the more opportunities you will have to share the Gospel. Most people today want genuine relationships and community with you before giving you any opportunity to share about Jesus with them. It just takes time to get established in a community or neighborhood. If you have been welcomed into a community and have relationships that foster spiritual conversations why would you leave that behind? That is not easy to find. 4. Genuine friendships take time to form – I believe pastors can and should have friends in the local congregation. Friendship is one of those gifts from God that helps us grow in our faith. Real friends are those we allow to know the real us and they accept us even though we have our flaws. Pastors who never have people they can be real with, never experience genuine friendship, and miss out on one of God’s best gifts for us. For more thoughts on developing friendships in your congregation as a pastor you can read this article . But for this post what I want to remind you of is that it takes time to experience real friendship and real friendship is a gift from God. 5. Others are telling you to stay – One of the lessons I have learned along the way is how much I need a community to help me discern God’s leading. My personal ambition and pride gets in the way far to easily and I need others who know me and care about me and family to help me discern. I would encourage you to find those people in your life. I would hope that you have Elders in your church who can be that for you. If not the Elders you serve with at least some respected leaders in your tribe whom you know. Be honest about the reasons you are sensing a need to move on. The good the bad and the ugly. If you don’t have people like this you can trust then dig in an develop those friendships so that you will have them. We all need those people. 6. God brought you there for a reason – Have you discovered why God brought you to your current church? What is it about your unique gifting that led God to place you where you are? If you cannot clearly answer those questions then I would strongly encourage you to lean into that because I think there is more for you to do where you are. Get some outside counsel and assessment. God doesn’t make mistakes in the calling, you are there for a reason. 7. Financial Stability – Let's just be honest about this. Most of the time the longer we stay in a church the better our financial situation is going to be. Especially for those who are supported full-time by the church. If the church has been providing cost of living increases or maybe some raises along the way chances are that you may go backward financially if you make a change. Also if you are a homeowner the longer you can pay down that mortgage and build equity that is to your advantage as well. Moving can be an expensive venture.